As the centuries passed, we humans began to lose our fear of the natural world. Now that we live in giant metropolises, surrounded by technology and concrete, the only thing to watch out for is sitting on a hepatitis infused needle or the giant hunks of fast moving metallic death on four wheels we call cars. Up next are 4 animals that simply don’t give a rat’s ass about you and your iPhone. They won’t judge you, they only want your juicy bits.
#1. Dolphins

Bottle-nose dolphins
are among the most intelligent creatures on planet earth. They live in large
groups called ‘pods’ and like to eat fish I think, well I don’t know I’m not a
fancy marine biologist or Kanye west. Being the highly intelligent and social
creatures that they are, Dolphins hunt in groups, Orchestrating complex hunting
strategies like ramming into things and shooting bubbles at fish.
But these cute
animals have a dark side. They are the only animal on the planet that kill for
sheer pleasure. Scientist have for a long time looked for an explanation as to
why large quantities of porpoise
carcasses
would appear on the beaches with no signs of sickness or predation. It was discovered that dolphins would kill the porpoises for fun, they would play a macabre game of “soccer”.
would appear on the beaches with no signs of sickness or predation. It was discovered that dolphins would kill the porpoises for fun, they would play a macabre game of “soccer”.
#2. Lions

The king of the
jungle, with a majestic mane and powerful muscular body, the male lion can
weigh up to 600 pounds. Lions are very social animals, living in prides
composed of mostly related females and a single male but sometimes more than
one. After the male cubs mature into
adults, they leave the pride in search of some sweet sweet poonanie.
When the now
solitary male finds a pride of his own he is met with the opposition of the
controlling male of the group. They battle until one or the other surrenders.
If the original leader is defeated, he is banished from the pride never to
return again. The now victorious lion has only one thing in his mind, some nice
cat tits and ass. But there is only one problem, the females will only mate
when they are in heat. And if they have cubs then there will be no pussy
crushing for a long time. So what’s a horny lion to do? Well systematically murder all the cubs that’s for
sure. After killing all the decedents of the previous male, the lion is free to
mate with all the females of his new pride.
#3. Elephants
The largest living
land mammal alive today, the elephant can weigh up to 1500 pounds. Being such a
hefty creature, the elephant needs to consume an average of 95,000 Calories a
day with a digestive efficiency of 50% these gargantuan animals literally, need
to eat every second of their waking lives just to be able to function. Sort of
like that fat kid in junior high school that would ask everyone in the
cafeteria “hey cuzz, you gonna eat that“?
The only time that elephants are not eating is when they are
fighting each other for some tight elephant snatch. Well I don’t know about
tight, have you seen an elephant’s cock? That thing is “S” shaped and bigger
than the average man!! Well that’s
enough about elephant genitlia for one day.
Male elephants undergo a period of elevated testosterone
level called “musht”
in which they basically get super horny and aggressive, sort of like your
average teenager. During this time is when it is more likely to get killed and
or raped by a giant pachyderm.
#4. Hippopotamus
The hippo is a
large semi-aquatic mammal that lives in sub-Saharan Africa. Male hippos can
weigh in excess of 8000 pounds, surviving on a mostly vegetarian diet, although
they are known to consume the entrails of decomposing carcasses, to supplement
their diet. These giant lards of fat may seem innocent enough, just floating in
a river, eating big macs, or whatever the heck they eat. But, hippopotamuses
are responsible for more than 2000 human deaths a year.
Paul Templer, was a
tour guide in Zimbabwe. One day he and a group of tourist went on a sight
seeing trip to the Zambezi River, near Victoria Fall. When a 4000 pound hippo literally
swallowed him whole. Paul recounts how it felt like
“I was aware that my legs were surrounded by water, but my top half was almost dry,” he recalled. “I seemed to be trapped in something slimy. There was a terrible, sulphurous smell, like rotten eggs, and a tremendous pressure against my chest. My arms were trapped but I managed to free one hand and felt around – my palm passed through the wiry bristles of the hippo's snout. It was only then that I realized I was underwater, trapped up to my waist in his mouth.”After it was all done Paul had almost 40 puncture wounds and had lost his left arm.
Lions área pretty cool
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